Doidoi! Show your assets

2nd week into the SEMESTER!!

2007-01-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

Wa shi lin LAO PEI!

Haha, just felt bored enough to blog la. because I keep seeing Andy , Velda and Joy updating their blogs. Also the trend of doing the anonymous thingy... Seems fun la. But people sure guess who they are. Stupid analysts. STOP GUESSING LA!

When it comes down to blogging, I also suffer from writer's block man. Bloody same thing as Andre, must be due to the fact that hes just a plain dumb ass or something. :( haha just kidding man! Actually I do have many things to write about , but just shy about it la. Not used to this blogging world yet man. And I not so bo liao like HELIUM HEAD who always goes online and post like 2 times / day la. Thats damn free, even though Uni student liao (oops sensitive topic).Now I just think and write at the same time liao, because I ponder over what to write many times and SINGNET lagging like a KNN over the past few days. So if suay tio, and the words bo save , then at least no need think so hard to rephrase all this sai hahaha.

Recently, so much shit start to happen that I really wanna kick those shit away and just lay back relax and smell the god damn air without any troubles man. But its been hard la. But I really wanna thank alot of people man. Because I know that without them around to support/hear me out and whining like a real lamer I knew I would have been down and out and just depressed like a retard la. But with the help of them, slowly by slowly, the light shines. Its really like the feeling of when you are doing something you like, how exhilarated you become and how light you feel when you really start to let go. Its just something so hard to describe, but the elation or light hearted emotions you feel... really shows that you have moved a step forward in life. But this moving on/forward with life thing only happens when you really NUMB [NUMB DAMNIT] to it first, then slowly understand the logic behind for the NUMBING process and then tadah! your released. its practically like farting man because in front of people you act strong then control your fart, then you slowly control it and release it bit by bit, then after that just POOT out you go. haha. feels relieved? tell me about it.

I know I have done far too many wrong things and so many stupid things. Guilt and regrets already have sinked in. Improvements and changes are already underway. haha. But if its still so hard to be friends then I rather dont wanna keep it because I still wanna keep the essence/core of myself. I might be selfish or just plain retarded as it looks but seriously right, I DONT give a FLYING f**k anymore la. If you wanna be friends then be, and those dont wanna be friends can jolly well go f**k a mistletoe hahaha :) its really far too boring and shitty to even leak tears over this matters anymore, and definitely dont even warrant a reason to debate about anything. especially ******.

ok just to end this post, I will just summarised what I have learnt so far, from this painful lesson
1) to believe in people around you!
2) to be genuinely happy and not just fill it with empty happiness!
3) immerse myself in the wrongs of last time, realise what it is, seek forgiveness and honestly MOVE on!
4) not to waste time/tears or love on anybody who wont do the same for you
5) treasure and trust those people around until they break that certain knack that makes your distrust them!
6) be friends not foes!
7) the world just doesnt revolve around one person, and the cause for changes made should be solely for yourself.

ok la.. to really end it off, I do the anonymous thing. because I find it fun and I'm plain bored. PR is freaking boring to research!

list to 10 people, something you've always wanted to say to each, keeping it anonymous:

1) Knowing you for almost 7 whole years, I realised that you are always there for me, no matter how whiny and how spoiled I seem. Always! Even though sometimes I take your kindness for granted, you seem to give me more then enough chances. You always give me encouragement and support and more then always, give me the hope when I'm down. From now on, I vow to treasure you more because simply , your always there for me. The trust that can never be broken, the ball that will never stop rolling.

2) Firstly, I owe you a big apology for all the things I have done to make you feel unhappy. SORRY. But its great to see that finally, you 're happy with your life. Be it genuine or forced happiness, its still happiness and I'm glad that you are with someone who you think can be with you forever. Treasure him and not take him for granted but also remember, be wary of where you will be treading. I will always be here to catch you when you fall and I know many others will. Its hard to treat you the same anymore, but I assure you that I will try when the time is right.

3) There has been so many obstacles, hardships and difficulties that I feel that Heaven is being unfair to you. But still, you overcame them in the end and I can really say that I'm proud of you. Thanks for always listening to my brags,shits,whines. Also thanks for sharing so many insightful stories and words that really spurred me to become better and not dwell on the past. You know I'm always there for you no matter what happens.

4) HAHAHA you. your the one person who really felt the pain and understood me! We share so many problems thats so uncanny that I almost found it to be an omen. Gah, but I'm glad I found you as a friend because you understand me so well and even can listen to me in the wee hours of the morning and helping me through so much. It was from you that I learnt that if I was determined enough, I can surely do it. THANKS for putting this point across to me la hahaha. and of course, thanks for everything

5) woah. when I did find you, little did I expect that you would be willing to help me so much. I always thought that we werent close enough so you wouldnt strain your mind just to help me. But I was wrong, because you did indeed help me. ALOT! which mattered to me. thanks for finding me at the right time, because you did teach me some lessons in life which I appreciate alot. You really possess the matured and intellectual mind and I'm glad you have found the right person now!

6) your like the handy dandy life size love consultant and I have no qualms about coming to you and asking for your advice. If you advice would cost $$ I probably have raked up like couple of thousands in tabs. But your advice always make sense no matter how harsh it sounds and you always tell the truth. Great person you are!

7) piang you... just know you only and didnt know that we share the same emotional quota... which is little haha. everytime I have a problem I would come to you and no matter how busy you are, you would just put down everything and resolve the problem and encourage me! wow, its such a boost to know a friend like you. Sometimes I just wished we wouldnt go back and think about the past because *memories* and we just be random and crazy. But someday in the future, you will find that special someone you deserve. and trust me it will come. You know if you feel sad you also can come and find me one, put time put place. I BE THERE!

8) your like this little ray of sunlight you know. even where ever weeds grow, you still have that bright light to keep off the darkness. You can be counted as the rainbow, because your so colourful and bright. Never have I seen one day where you were unhappy about something. You have been a great listening ear and really the right piece of sunshine to trust!

9) the first person I came to after all the shit happened. you were unselfish about being there and also gave more then what I thought you would be giving. I regretted that I left you alone last time when shit hit you, because I knew how much it meant to have someone there to rely on. But thank you really, for being there and .... listening and helping to the best of your ability.

10) value added +1 haha. sound advice + 1 . lalala :) thanks

OK ENDED THIS OFF! bloody hell took 2 hours to type finish this thing... :(

/wrist
darryn :)

退後

2006-12-21T03:14:00.000+08:00

我知道我们都没有错

只是放手会比较好过

最美的爱情

回忆里待续

The importance of realising how the other party feel. lol... maybe it just suddenly hit me that its essential to let go when you feel that the other is doing great with their lives. being happy and free among their friends and knowing that he/she already forgotten about the hurt/sadness during a r/s. re-awakening as a new individual to face obstacles in life, thats what everybody wants :) and thats what my goal for new year is LOL. time to change and be a better person man haha. All this times I been trying to change, was for you solely. but i realise the importance of changing for myself instead of others.

maybe its time I really learn how to let things go hahaha. those fond memories will forever be etched in my heart and mind. thanks for being a part of my life.

and its also important to know who to trust. as they always say, you wont know till you observe and learn from those mistakes of trusting the wrong person. haha. guess its true. well lemme tell those who wanna cross me, dont forget I can do it 10times better then you if I really want it to happen ;) . just a warning lo hahaha. I can focus myself to be very vengeful as well, if you wanna see that side la hahaha! theres always 2 sides to a person, dont force me to show the other side haha, if i cant take it then too damn bad :) never underestimate my power of logical reasoning and being observant. haha :0

for those that were there during the tough times, I hereby thank you all :) you know who you are, I lazy to type the names haha. but thanks alot.

merry x'mas all!!!!!!

/wrist :)

darryn

藉口 = 詞/曲：周杰倫

2006-12-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

翻著我們的照片想念若隱若
Flipping through our photographs, thoughts of [you] are visible yet invisible
去年的冬天我們笑得很甜

Last year's winter, we laughed very sweetly

看著妳哭泣的臉, 對著我說再見
Watching your tearstained face, telling me goodbye
來不及聽見　妳已走得很遠
[I] have yet to hear it when you've already walked so far
也許妳已經放棄我　也許已經很難回頭

Perhaps you have already given up on me, perhaps it is already very difficult to turn back
我知道是自己錯過　請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我

I know it's all my fault, please give me another reason saying why don't you love me
就算是我不懂　能不能原諒我
Even if I don't understand, can [you] forgive me?

請不要把分手當作妳的請求
Please don't use parting (breakup) as your request

我知道堅持要走是妳受傷的藉口
I know wanting to go is your broken heart's excuse
請妳回頭　我會陪妳一直走到最後
[Can] you please turn back, I will follow you until the very end
就算沒有結果　我也能夠承受
Even if there is no conclusion, I can still endure
我知道妳的痛　是我給的承諾
I know your pain is the promise I gave
妳說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容

You said [you] gave me tolerance, and silence was because of acceptance

如果要走　請妳記得我　如果難過　請妳忘了我

If [you] want to go, please remember me, if [you] feel sad, please forget me
------------------------------------------------------------

Back for another emo entry la :). So many things happen this few days.. haha.. stressed like hell man with projects and emotions :p almost too much to handle. luckily got good friends around who are helping me. :) thanks for listening haha..

actually have alot to blog about but damn lazy to post nia haha.

P.S. I must add oil man . haha. faster forget and heal :)

P.P.S. Try as I might, haha, cannot forget everything. too much memories man. haha. But I'm already trying my best. give me credits and forgiveness if I do anything dumb HAhahahha. and no ulterior motive also hor !!!

/wrist :)
darryn

Untitled - Simple Plan

2006-12-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

haha back to blogging la . too damn sian at home. nothing to do... waiting for work to come hahaha.. think I keep my blog updated with a cute gif. file or cute picture haha. like this then got steady stream of supporters ma hor :) .. see ... I so considerate to think of such things to perk my blog up... thank me alot man my avid readers HAHAHAHA. just crapping la .. nothing much to say..

had a really nice chit - chatting session with andy and vel last nights under the stars. star gazing and talking really can bring out the true emoticon in you LOL. haiz. back to the damn title. haha

this song has been with me since poly started till now I feel that its like the best f***ing song to describe someone when they are down and out hahaha. this song has been with me through thick and thin man, can say its more dependable then people because when I get all emo , people tell me to cut it out ! O_O!!!! at least the song doesnt ask me to shut the hell up and stop acting emo :(... but this song really emotional what haha. This song is about losing someone... although not in the same context as the song la.. choy no one will tio bang by car so easily ok hahaha.

Some of the lyrics I wanna point out :

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound

But no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto

A time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

--------------------------------------------------------------

hardcore emo lol! but so damn well description. haiz what's done is done. cant turn back time oh oh oh. anyhow,　ありがとうございます　ベルダ　，アンヂ　さん．みな　がんばって！！everything will be fine after some time hahaha! must be strong :)

p.s. I thought I saw a shooting star... maybe perhaps?? haha

我后悔我没有去珍惜你。一切已经太迟了。无法往回前事。 =（

/wrist :)
darryn

Mispronunciation = Noob shit??

2006-12-07T01:50:00.000+08:00

Woah woah woah.. my virgin post! haha! so fun! blogging .. I always thought that I would never venture into the world of blogging. But seeing MS0501 blog away during lessons or updating their daily lives on this online journal.. can say my hands got itchy haha

Ok la back to topic... In Singapore , nobody really gives a damn about how you pronounce certain words la unless your in MS or gonna be a hardcore journalist next time. I mean seriously leh... who the hell cares if you pronounce sit as "seat" when the person understands you la ... typical MS mentality to correct my lousy pronunciation like sitting on the toilet bowl to pang sai and read newspaper...hor jessica?? haha not really insulting u la but hor... aiya you know I dont really care about my grammar, vocab, sentence construction... so you all dont act all anal when my sentence like bei kan ok??? andre also... keep pestering me to correct my vocab and sentence... all of you sound like nagging ah MAs leh... "darryn dont be like a hokkien beng leh" or like andre "wah lau.. your sentence ar..." okok i admit my engrish bei kan :(( haha.. anyway doesnt mean my pronunciation bei kan means other aspects stinks ma tio bo :D

Actually duno what to blog so just start on such a bo liaos thing now haha... duno whether gonna blog more sai in the future not... so boring nowadays... and not really into politics and crap like that... lol... ok la time to go do work :D

/wrist :)

darryn